


Things Banned From Genosha.

by Quill18



Series: House Eisenhardt [2]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Genosha, magneto hates 1-ply toilet paper, magneto hates wasteful packaging, no cherik
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 08:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15215114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quill18/pseuds/Quill18
Summary: Lord Magnus Eisenhardt, known as Magneto to the world, rules over Genosha. As its benevolent dictator, he has decided to ban 1-ply toilet paper and other horrors from his people.





	1. 1-Ply Toilet Paper

"One-ply toilet paper is now banned from Genosha. We are mutants! We are humanity's replacement! We deserve the best!" Magneto boomed from the speakers, tvs and computers of Genosha's numerous dwellings and street radios. 

"No longer will we suffer the indignity of rough chafing across delicate parts when we relieve ourselves. No longer will we suffer the undescribable textures of one-ply toilet paper across our nether regions! This ends today!" 

"All shops must and WILL send their stock of one-ply to the industrial composters to be properly disposed of!. Expect new shipments of soft luxurious toilet paper by day's end!" 

The Lord of Genosha's words rang out among the cheering populace.


	2. Wasteful Packaging

"Erik, what is this? This is unhygienic." 

"Mmhmm?" Erik looked up from the manuscript of the next book in his mutant childcare series.

Charles leaned back in his wheelchair, miffed and pointing at the steel bowl of candy. Each piece of candy was wrapperless, resting in a pile among its sugary siblings. He had simply wanted some candy to chew on while reading the latest research on genetics, The Joys of Dino Splicing by Dr. Sauron.

The drawer on the table slid open, and a metal remote plopped onto Xavier's map. "Really, Charles. Just disinfect it with the hygiene ray."

"Erik...its just easier to have them wrapped." Charles sighed as he shined the disinfectant ray on the candy.

"Wasteful, Charles. You know this. We are going to run out of oil in the next several decades. I'll not have Genosha suffering from those problems." 

"...There's paper, Erik."

"And destroy the forests needed to combat global warming?" Magnus quirked an eyebrow. 

"Trees grow back, Erik."

"On what land does Genosha spare for forests, Charles? None."

"You can have it delivered, Erik."

"I don't have enough teleporters to bring in petty wasteful shipments and I'll not support cargo ships any more then I have to Charles." 

"Beeswax, Erik. I know you have hives on your island." 

"All carefully collected and used for skincare products, hair products, waterproof waxing, polish, anti-corrosion use, reusable food packaging and emergency candles, Charles. Do you know how much candies children eat? An impossible amount. One-time use of wax casings is wasteful, expensive, and hygiene rays are provided to every genoshan family. "

"...Erik, I didn't expect to say this, you can never have enough beehives. If anything, you need even more beehives for those urban food forests and rooftop gardens that your country survives off." 

This went on for rest of the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uses of beeswax taken from here: https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/21-brilliant-benefits-of-beeswax
> 
> Credit to my friend Saltydog for suggesting the beeswax candy casings.


End file.
